Winter in New England… It’s cold. It’s unpredictable. It’s long. It can be a roller coaster ride full of jubilation at the first picturesque snowfall to gloominess over dismal cold days full of hibernation and darkness. Most of my workouts have shifted to being inside on stationary pieces of equipment, which seem to provide much space for rumination. Dreaming of bike rides outside and summer runs in tank tops, I find myself thinking about what lies ahead and how I can get to where I want to be. And more importantly in the meantime, how I can make the best of every day.
Enter my motivating source throughout the dismal winter months: Trainer Road. Trainer Road and I have a quintessential love / hate relationship – for those who are familiar with the program, I’m sure you can relate. You love it because it pushes you so hard and you hate it because it pushes you so hard. This is why I find it such a valuable training tool. It forces you to push beyond what you ever thought was manageable.
“So how’s the training for Kona going?” Each and every time I get this question, I pause, a bit unsure of how to craft an accurate response. Physically the training has been going as well as can be expected. My body has sent out a few warning signs that maybe it isn’t too keen on training for another ironman right now, but I’ve been able to take care of myself pretty well and stay healthy. In training, I’ve been feeling relatively strong on the bike and consistent on the run. My swimming is “ehh” as it has been for a while, but you can’t be feeling great in every discipline when training for an ironman. Something has got to give. So you would think the question posed at the outset of this post would evoke a positive response, as physically I feel like I’m in a good spot. My hesitation arises from my mindset. My mental game. This is the area where I feel a bit unsettled. A bit uncertain of where I’m at. This unsettled feeling stems from the fact that I’m not quite certain of what I’m trying to accomplish when I toe that starting line in Kailua Bay.